Is internet dating biblical? To answer this question, let us first reflect on both the internet and our beliefs about dating.
First of all, let me start by pointing out that the internet is one of the common forms of communication, which includes telephone, letters, and face to face communications. However, I would go beyond that and call the internet more of a virtual world, rather than just another form of communication; the internet gives us the ability to communicate via all the methods we use to communicate in actual life (for example, e-mail as a form of mail correspondence, and skype as a form of telephone or face to face interaction).
What I want to do is get you thinking about whether you morally accept these virtual forms of communication versus the actual forms. Internet dating is becoming more popular. More singles are using these websites every year. Some people argue that the internet is not real and that it allows people the ability to make a false positive image. We are unable to see the real person. I would argue, though, that people naturally do this in real life. We have a tendency to put on a good face in order to make a positive impression in front of people, especially in front of people we just meet. Yet, I agree that it is easier to hide our true personality online. We can also screen people virtually without the obligation or commitment to an actual date. However, we should keep in mind that about half of our communication is body language. If we are chatting with someone online, not only can individuals make a different image of themselves, but individuals can misinterpret text and smiley faces into being more or less intimate than they are meant to be. I encourage that after getting to know each other to a comfortable level, that the online chatting be kept to a minimum, or combined with real-world interaction.
Next, let’s reflect on dating, Christian dating, in particular. There are no clear christian dating advice about dating or courtship in the bible. Culture has been setting the norms for these practices. In history, and many cultures today, the community has been a key part in dating practice. The western world has typically been more autonomous. We have to remember that there is a worldly culture and a biblical culture. The worldly culture can have elements of what is good and biblical. Some cultural practices are clearly unbiblical, while others are neutral things and the choice to do them is based on ones preference; other practices are much more complex and chosen based on biblical principles and situation-specific factors. I would argue that internet dating falls into the latter category; it can be biblical or non-biblical, depending on how it’s used.
Regardless of the cultural norms in how people come together, trusting God’s sovereignty in the process is a biblical principle we should follow. We should be careful and guard our hearts in the process, especially with internet connections. Include the counsel of church leaders and mature Christian friends. We should not let our desires and emotions steer us into making decisions out of impatience. God brings people together in His timing (Psalm 31:15) and to a degree of intimacy that He determines. Trusting God in this area means giving our desire to find a mate to God, letting it rest in His hands.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 (NIV)
